From the beginning


From the beginning

In the early hours of the morning last August I woke up cold and confused not sure where I was, or where my partner was who usually sleeps next to me.i was half dressed with head thumping, yes this was yet another hangover and I had no recollection of any events from the night before.Ove the next few hours I was brutally reminded of what had happened and the trouble I had caused which was quickly followed by my engagement ring being thrown in my face.I had been out and become very drunk quickly and badly behaved. The realisation that this incident…not the first may actually be the reason I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me…my partner !.This dreadful night was soon followed by me seeing a video on YouTube which was a film with physiologists Nick and Eva speakman discussing how they treated a celebrity client.The similarities between my own life and their subject,was alarming and as I watched with interest I was fascinated by what the speak and had to say about the treatment. It felt like a thunderbolt hitting me in the heart, I finally understood what my behaviour was doing to myself and the people around me and the reasons why I behaved the way I did.It took me 24 years to admit it but there it was staring at me in the face…I was suffering from incomplete grief after the death of my father . I decided there and then that for one thing I was going to stop drinking, and secondly I needed to visit my dads crematorium and have my own goodbye in my own terms.This was going to be a very long painful journey but to have finally figured this out was a huge relief and I knew that someday I would be better and beat this……will you follow me into the next phase of my journey ??? Until next time….thank you







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